"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
"Qualifications: No education or experience."
"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
"Fired because I fought for lower pay."
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" .
"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately."
打字错误与语法错误
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to
pursue a new line of work."
"Accounting cleric."
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
"Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments."
"Suspected to graduate early next year."
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
不应有的幽默
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)
"But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
"My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company in particular."
"Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series."
"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."
"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."
"Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience."
下一篇：计算机行业求职简历中英文职位对照 Applications Programmer 应用软件程序员
Computer Operator 电脑操作员
Computer Operations Supervisor 电脑操作主管
Hardware Engineer 硬件工程师
Computer Technician 电脑技术员
MIS Manager 电脑部经理
Developmental Engineer 开发工程师
Operations Analyst 操作分析
Director of Information Services 信息服务主管
Project Manager 项目经理
Information Analyst 信息分析
...[查看详情] | 
